glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
