Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
