She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
