We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
