so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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