White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
