and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
