Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
This can only be settled by a dance off.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
