once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
