operation have a gay friend backfired
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.