Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
