you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...