dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
