im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"