i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.