ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
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we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
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Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!