It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.