I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
