Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
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