He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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