You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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