very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I intend to get homeless drunk
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
