I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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