We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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