I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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