She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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