I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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