Fuck appropriateness.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
