U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
