What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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