i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
