I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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