I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Randomize
