babies were throwing up all over the place
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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