Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
