I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
