marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
