I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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