Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
