so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
