she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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