You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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