half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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