man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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