We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
