Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I touched a dick in church today
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
