The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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