that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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