we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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