Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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