Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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