Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
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The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
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I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.