jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt