guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.