Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Did we literally take a cab across the street
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I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
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You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.