I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
