she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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