Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
