what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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