Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Randomize
