OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
