can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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