Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize