We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
