I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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