I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
