i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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