Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
