drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
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I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
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I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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