My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize