North Korea, Best Korea!
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
This baby is an asshole
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
