There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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